No Heart Left Behind: Views on Marriage

No Heart Left Behind is committed to helping couples keep Christ at the center of their marriages, allowing the Word of God and the love of Christ to be the glue that holds the husband and wife together.  We help couples remember that the marriage vows say for "worse and poorer" as well as "for richer and better".  What I am seeing today is that so many couples have forgotten their vows, and when the "worse and poorer" part comes along, usually one or both of the parties involved want to leave and look for someone new to have the "rich and better" part.  Satan is attacking our nation at the root of the family.  May we be reminded today of what God desires for us when we enter into the sanctity of marriage.

When we enter into marriage, we become models of God's love to each other for the world to see and want to know more about.

The bridegroom (displayed by the married man) is to respond to his bride just as Christ does to His church.  He is to love her sacrificially in both his words and actions.  Christ is then given high visibility and honor and has the opportunity to display His loving nature through this man by how he treats his wife so that others will want to know God more personally.  (The husband is to be faithful to his wife even if his bride is not. This shows forth the character of Christ in giving  unconditional love to his wife.  It's an awesome responsibility!)  The Holy Spirit is always available to teach the man how to do this in his everyday life.

The bride (displayed by the married woman), is to show loving, respectful ways in how she interacts with her husband (the bridegroom), to such an extent that others who don't know Christ are drawn to the type of love that pours forth from her.  Her faithful, loving and respectful ways are to stay true despite the husband's actions.  This is the nature and character of God.  It is also part of being in a covenant relationship with God and the marriage partner. The bride is faithful, no matter what-just as God is faithful!  The Holy Spirit is always available to teach the woman how to do this in her everyday life.

It must break the heart of God when He sees the awful way we treat each other and how we distort the picture of marriage that He has displayed for all to read throughout the Bible. Think about it:  when we as His living examples of convenantal love divorce each other, what does this say to the world of God's promises to the Church of His love, devotion and faithfulness to them?  And what example and message are we giving out to others of the "transforming power" that God can perform in our lives and marriages, when we ourselves are not even utilizing that power?  It's a sad testimony today that marriages are so weak and unhealthy, not to mention the number of divorces among professing Christians?

We have all known people who have expressed a disinterest in knowing Christ because of the nasty ways that Christians treat each other and those around them by living unfaithful, dishonest and dishonoring lives.  If we as people who claim to know Jesus Christ in a personal way can't act extraordinarily loving and gracious towards each other, what makes those who don't know Christ think He will change their lives for the better in any way?  What  about us and the way we live our lives will attract them to know Christ in a personal way?

We need to see marriage as a "one flesh" lifestyle.  We are to be helpers to each other spiritually, materially and physically in every way that the Bible requires us to be.  We pray you will continue to grow in that mind-set as partners instead of turning on each other when you have disagreements with each other about the differences in ways of doing things.  It is natural to have disagreements, but disagreements can be roads to learn how to find ways to come to agreement and become partners in every aspect of life-getting to know God's ways of doing things instead of our self-satisfying ways.  It is our prayer for you that if you are struggling in your marriage, you will take a look within your own heart and ask God help you become Christ-centered with your spouse instead of self-centered.

Forgiveness Versus Excusing

It impossible to overstate the importance of forgiveness - that because Christ is in us, we are forgiving creatures by our true nature, and not to forgive is to act contrary to that nature and contrary to the command to forgive throughout the New Testament. In the Lord’s Prayer, Christ makes it quite clear that our sins are not forgiven if we do not forgive other people their sins against us. There are no exceptions. As C.S. Lewis states in his writing, ”On Forgiveness”: “He doesn’t say we are to forgive other people’s sins provided they are not too frightful, or provided there are extenuating circumstances, or anything of that sort. We are to forgive them all, however spiteful, however mean, however often they are repeated. If we don’t, we shall be forgiven none of our own.”

In that same writing, Lewis goes on to observe that often, when we are asking God to forgive us, we are asking Him to do something quite different - we are asking Him to excuse us. However, there is all the difference in the world between forgiving and excusing. Forgiving says, “Yes, you have done this thing, but I forgive you and I will never hold it against you.” Excusing says, “I see that you couldn’t help it or didn’t mean it; you weren’t really to blame.” If one weren’t really to blame, then there is nothing to forgive. In that sense, forgiveness and excusing are opposites.

Trouble often arises when what we call asking God’s forgiveness really consists of asking God to accept our excuses. As Lewis points out, what leads us to this mistake is that there is usually some amount of excuse in our prayer, some “extenuating circumstance”. We are all very anxious to point these circumstances out to God when we ask for His forgiveness. We are also very anxious to point these excuses out to others we have sinned against when we seek their forgiveness. We even make up excuses for some one who has sinned against us when we are forgiving them, saying they did it because they didn’t know any better, or they didn’t mean it, or they were going through a bad time; to acknowledge that the person acted in an intentional manner toward us is just too painful to consider.

When we engage in this activity of making excuses or accepting excuses from others, we fail to acknowledge that no matter what the excuse was, the fact remains that the sin is inexcusable but not, thank God, unforgivable. If we forget that what we did or what was done to us is inexcusable and therefore, must be forgiven, we come away with the idea that we have repented and been forgiven or have forgiven another when all we have really done is satisfy ourselves with our own excuses or the excuses of another. We must acknowledge the inexcusable wrong that we did or was done to us and then ask to be forgiven or grant forgiveness to another.

Lewis suggests two remedies to help avoid the pitfall of making and accepting excuses instead of seeking and granting forgiveness. First, remember that God knows all the excuses much better that we do. There is no possibility that He will overlook our wrongdoing, and we are only wasting time talking to God about all the excuses; we must get to the inexcusable sin that is left. Secondly, we must truly believe in the forgiveness of sins. A great deal of our anxiety and excuse-making comes from not really believing that God will forgive. Lewis states: “Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin that is leftover without any excuse, after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the man who has done it. That, and only that, is forgiveness, and that we can always have from God if we ask for it.”

Our prayer for you today at No Heart Left Behind® is that you will come to know that God is a truly a forgiving God. May you look at the cross and be reminded of this every day!

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, 
Look full in His wonderful face, 
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim 
In the light of His glory and grace. 

The solution is so simple, the promise so true. But do we listen? No! We see the stack of bills on the kitchen table and feel yet another anxiety attack coming on. Or we “awfulize” the future: "Quit my job?! What if I can’t find something else?" "Move?! What if I can’t make new friends?" "What if . . . what if . . . what if . . ."

The Evil One just revels in planting these seeds of doubt in our vulnerable imaginations. He loves to see us strangled and impotent with fear. If we don’t counter his lies with the Truth, those seeds can take hold, distort our perceptions of reality, and ultimately, keep us from walking through the doors God opens for us.

Fear is a circular trap: It leads us to inaction. Inaction leaves us bereft of experience. Lack of experience leaves us without information. A lack of information leads us to still more fear. The cycle continues to repeat itself, thus bringing about emotional paralysis and self-defeating behavior. 

Fear is Satan’s favorite “weapon of mass destruction,” as nothing keeps us from experiencing God’s provision like irrational fear. Fear can even sabotage our own healing.

The story in John 5:1-9 is a perfect example of this. 

. . . Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool . . . Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?” “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked (John 5:1-9, NIV).

Why do you suppose Jesus asked that question? The man had been crippled for 38 years. Why doubt the sincerity of the man’s request? We don’t know the crippled man’s entire story, but later, in John 5:14, Jesus catches up with him and scolds, “See, you are all well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” Jesus didn’t name the sin, but his patience with the man was tested somehow. One can’t help but wonder, 38 years by the pool and not once could he get near the water? 

How many people do you know who day after day whine and complain about their miserable lives, but never seem to take steps to improve them? Friends come alongside and suggest possible solutions, but it’s as though their ideas never register. Meanwhile, the litany of excuses and blame-casting go on, ad infinitum. They blame their parents, their ex-spouses, their bosses, their friends—everyone but themselves for staying stuck in stale, unhappy circumstances. They can pull out countless excuses for why they don’t take charge of their own lives. But the root of their problem is fear—and the fruit of their fear is missed opportunities, missed miracles, missed joy.

When you choose to stay in the role of victim, you never have to accept responsibility for your life—never have to face your fears. Perhaps the crippled man by the pool had managed to garner sympathy, even routine handouts from sympathetic passersby. He’d learned to identify himself over the years as a pathetic cripple. This man had grown quite comfortable in his role as victim. No doubt, he was fearful of the implications of his healing. After all, if he were healed, who’d feel sorry for him? He might even have to . . . find a job!

Our prayer for you today at No Heart Left Behind Ministries is that you begin to identify your fears that keep you paralyzed, just like the man at the pool of Bethesda. Replace your fears with faith-faith in the one who saved you from sin and death. 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, 
Look full in His wonderful face, 
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim 
In the light of His glory and grace.

What My Heavenly FAther is Like

What Father is Like What really is God's attitude toward us. I used to have a warped view of God. I did not view Him as a loving, caring Father. Instead I believed in a God who was critical, punishing, or distant. These views of God came from my family background and the religious traditions that didn’t understand the message of Grace in Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for A woman by the name of Sandra Westcott who showed me the love of Jesus and taught me how I needed to allow God to re-parent me in the true image of who He is. through his word. I have compiled the following scriptures to teach me and others like me Just What My Heaenly Father is Like.. The Word of God has a unique ability to go deep into our soul and transform our thinking. Here is what my heavenly Father is really like. Isaiah 54:10:Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Matthew 7:11:If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 11:28-30:“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mark 6:34:When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things. John 14:18:I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you. John 16:27:Jesus said, "The Father Himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God." Romans 8:15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:32:God who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will the Father not also, along with Christ, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:38-39For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 15:7Accept one another, then, just as Christ has accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Galatians 3:26:You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. Ephesians 2:4-7:But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even while we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace to us, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. Hebrews 12:7,10:Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. Hebrews 13:5b:God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” 1 Peter 5:7:Cast all your anxiety on God because He cares for you. 1 John 4:16-18:And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 5:3:This is love for God: to obey his commands. And His commands are not burdensome. My prayer for you today is that you will come to know what you heavenly father is like.

Four Letter Words

I believe There are two four letter words that stops us dead in our tracks. The first word is the word can’t. We have lived with the idea that God has asked too much of us. We say that we can’t spread the gospel through the whole world, we can’t live a holy life, we can’t forgive someone who deeply hurt us, we can’t sacrifice our time to serve someone we can’t part with our money ….we can’t we can’t we can’t! But God says yes you can. In Philippians 4:13 God says we can do All things through him and in Zechariah 4:6 not by might nor by power but by my spirit saith the Lord. We CAN do what God wants. The second four letter word that stops us dead in our tracks is is the word Quit. How easily Satan gets us to be discouraged when doors shut and plans don’t come to pass. We just want to give up when God seems to be slow to answer our prayers. Ministry work can often times be disheartening because those of us in ministry often times do not immediately see the fruit of our labor or we minister on our time rather than on the perfect timing of the Lord. We can go for weeks without seeing the harvest of our efforts if we even see them at all. These two words when used alone often times prevents us from finishing the race to which God has called us to. My dear listeners, may we put these two words side by side and see what they tell us. CAN’T QUIT! Can’t Quit! We must not quit. WE can’t quit because the price Jesus paid was too high, the cross, the nails, the thorns. We can’t quit because somewhere someplace, someone needs to know of our Lord’s compassion. We can’t quit because someone out there needs to be offered the same grace that God showed us when he reached so far down to save us. WE can not quit sharing the word of God and the love of Christ with a world that so desperately needs the message. The recent shootings at Virginia tech is a prime example of the tragedy of today’s times. We are trying to fix spiritual problems with worldly things and hearts continue to become so hardened that individuals totally lose all respect for human life. Somewhere, someone needs to hear that Jesus loves them, despite their unbelief. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. We don’t need gun control, we need heart control and it is time foir our hearts to be controlled by Jesus. There is however one one four letter word that we can use that stands alone. That word is HELP!. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. WE all need one another. There is power in numbers . We need your help. I can’t do this alone. God asks in Isaiah, Who will go for us? Isaiah responded: Here am I Lord, send me! My prayer is that you will join me in reviving the heart of our nation one heart at a time with the word of God and the love of Christ by saying to the Lord here am I send me!

Knowing You Are Loved

A relationship with God is like no other relationship you may have experienced. God has a unique kind of love for you. It is unconditional God loves you because He loves you. “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us...” (1John 4:9,10) He does not love you based upon your performance. There is nothing you can do to cause God to love you any more than He already does—and there is nothing that will cause God to love you any less. He loves you, even more than you love yourself.Until now you have probably only experience conditional love. It’s expressed in sentiments such as, “I’ll love you for as long as you love me” or, “You’ll always be my first love, unless I meet someone better for me.” Conditional love is based upon what you do. Perform well on the job, on the team, or in the relationship, and you are “loved.” In opening your life to Christ, you will find total love and acceptance. That may be hard to comprehend if you’ve never felt totally loved and accepted by anyone. But it’s true! Unfortunately, you won’t always feel that God loves you. There will be times when you find yourself doubting not only His love, but also His existence. You’ll feel like giving up. Don’t. When God gave you a new life, it didn’t come trimmed in lace and smelling of perfume. Jesus began His earthly life in a smelly, damp stable. He tasted real life, and that will be the flavor of your journey with Christ—no magic, just the promise of His presence with you. God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3). There’s a Danish proverb: “The next mile is the only one a person really has to make.” The knowledge that God loves you will keep you going when the next mile seems intolerably long: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38,39) Our faith rests in what God has revealed about Himself to us. He specifically wants us to believe and rely on His love for us: “...the Lord delights in those who fear [reverence] him, who put their hope in his unfailing love” (Psalms 147:11).“...the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love.” (Psalms 33:18) King David, whom God referred to “as a man after my own heart”1 trusted God’s love: “...I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. O my strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God” (Psalms 59:16,17). Jesus describes the depth of His love for us, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:9-11). He loves us no matter what—even when we disobey. But we will live in His love, enjoy His love, as we obey Him. To grow in your understanding of God’s love for you, take some time over the next few weeks and read Psalms 103, John 15, and 1 John 4, and note all the ways that God’s love is described. As you study his word, my prayer for you is that you will see that your joy for life can be complete as you come to know the love our heavenly father lavishes on us

Changing The Heart

Changing the Heart In one of his many books, author Max Lucado tells the fanciful story about what he supposedly did one time while he and his family were living in Brazil. They had gone on a week-long summer vacation and returned home to find that Max had inadvertently unplugged the freezer instead of the radio. For seven days this freezer full of food had sat there in a very hot apartment with the power off.Max was soon identified as the culprit and, therefore, given the clean-up responsibility. He knew exactly what to do. He got a bucket and a rag and started washing the outside of the freezer. He was sure if he polished it up really nice that the horrible smell would go away. When he got through he opened the freezer door, but the rotten mess of spoiled food was still there. So then he decided that what that freezer needed was a few friends. What a sorry social life it had as the lone appliance in a utility room. It wasn't easy, but Max managed to round up a number of other stoves, refrigerators, and washing machines. They practically filled the apartment. What a party! They played games (pin the plug in the socket) and told microwave jokes. Max just knew that all this social interaction would cure the inside of the freezer. Yet when he opened the door again to check, the stink was even worse! The next idea Max came up with was a winner, or so he thought. He figured that this freezer just needed some status--a little prestige to raise its self-esteem. So he got a Mercedes sticker and put it on the front. On the back he stuck a "Save the Whales" bumper sticker and even installed a cell phone on the side. He sprinkled a little cologne on top and gave it a credit card, too. This was one classy freezer. Max stepped back and gazed with admiration saying, "You might just make the cover of Popular Mechanics!" The freezer just blushed. Expecting to find the inside all nice and clean as well, Max was practically knocked over by the odor when he opened the door this time. Max (you've got to admire his persistence) gave it one last try. He decided his freezer was really in need of some high-voltage pleasure, so he got it several copies of Playfridge (you know, the magazine that has full-color photos of freezers with the doors open). He rented some videos featuring sexy appliances. A few days of all this supercharged entertainment should have done the trick, Max thought. When he opened the door, he nearly got sick. By now you're thinking, "What kind of idiot would waste all this effort on the outside when the problem was on the inside?" But wait a minute, don't we do the same thing? A homemaker is struggling with depression. What does her friend suggest? Going out and buying a new dress! A husband has an affair and finds that it only leaves him with a huge burden of guilt. The solution? A new set of friends! Start hanging around with people who don't make you feel guilty. In a hundred different ways, we fix up the outside while ignoring the inside. The moral of the story about Max's silly antics is clear: "You change your life by changing your heart." [The Applause of Heaven by Max Lucado. Word, 1990. Pages 122-125.]